In this together

Mandy and I started getting into a rhythm today with tracking our food, getting on the treadmill, and being positive about this whole lifestyle change. 
I showed her how fun it could be to beat her own mile time and start setting her own PR for a mile.

I made us a planner page, that we will fine tune and then bind up for us to track our food and exercise, along with water and basic to-do/goals. 

I made myself a 2 weeks running/walking plan, that incorporates intervals, easy walks/runs, longer walks/runs- hoping to increase my stamina a little. 

We still have not decided if we want to carb count or do weight watchers, but I will decide over the next day or two and incorporate it into the page as well. 

We are really working hard.  Our goal is to get healthy, lose weight and then pay off our debt in the process so that we can go on a wild shopping spree/vacation when we are super hot.  :)

Down the rabbit hole...

I am so close I can taste One-derland.  I have 1.9 lbs to go before I see a 1 to start my weight.  It has been a while indeed.  I am getting super excited about it.  My jeans are fitting a little better, my bras are getting a little looser and I am feeling better over all.

I have been on the meds for over a week now.  I am feeling better as a whole, although for a while there, I was super emotional and crying at everything.  I have a lot more energy (I hear wellbutrin does that to you) and I feel like doing more things.  Last week, Mandy and I went down to Galveston to Palm Beach (an inland man-made "beach" at Moody Gardens.  I was in a bathing suit in public and looked fab, I must say.  They have a great wave pool there, and I think at some point I pulled a muscle in the back of my leg.  I am having the hardest time walking without pain. 

The one thing I have noticed with the meds is my tendency to rage/panic a little as they are wearing off.  As long as I stay on top of taking them, I am fine, but on occasion I do have to take an ativan to help out. 

Bring on a new week, and hopefully, a whole new number.  There is no going back now.  I REFUSE to give up, and I REFUSE to give in. 

Doctor Visit

So I finally broke down (literally) and went to the doctor.  My blood pressure has been steadily creeping back up, my heart rate stays up (between 90-120bpm) and I have just not been myself as of late.
I have been having all kinds of anxiety, depression, and have been living in a constant state of panic, that I can only describe as "humming bird".
After a long discussion with my doctor (who I LOVE and drive 2 hours to see still) about how I am feeling, what my stressors are, and what I would like to do about it, I walked out with a ton of percriptions for meds.  Metaprolol (a beta-blocker) for my blood pressure and heart rate, Wellbutrin SR (for the anxiety and depression), Ativan as needed (for panic attacks). 

I now feel like an old lady with my giant bag full of meds. 

But here is hoping I am back on the track to being whole and being me again.

Three and a half pounds

In three and a half pounds, I will be below 200 lbs.  Who knew it was as simple as cutting out a few excess carbs? 

I am not counting calories- I guess that is coming along with it.  I am simply limiting my carb intake to 60g per meal, or 30g per snack, sometimes less, sometimes a hair more, depending. 

I am not stressing anything else, and because I was ill last week, I have no added any extra exercise.  But I am 12 lbs down, and am so excited.  In the next week or two, I will no longer start my weight with a 2. 

I swear, as soon as I weigh in below 200 I am taking a pic and posting it to facebook with the caption, "whattup bitches?!"

Here's to next week.

Playing with Needles

So after putting it off for a day, I finally opened the two syringes that were sent home with me to become comfortable with.  the larger one made my eyes roll a little, but over all, it was not bad. I poked at a plum.  But they were in MY hands, not anyone else. :/

Health Scares and Phobias

Sometimes something comes along in your life and gives you a quick kick in the face. 
For a few days, it literally felt like I was kicked in the face.  My back wisdom tooth abscessed again.  I managed to get myself down to the doctor and got antibiotics and for once, pain pills!  They rarely give me any because I am allergic to the "cure all", Vicodin. 
During a fit of pain and anger, I threw out that I had to do SOMETHING to get over my needle phobia and told Mandy that we would take baby steps and she should start checking my blood sugar.  (She's diabetic). 
Needless to say, a few days later when I was no longer in pain, I regretted this immensely, but Mandy is a good woman, and she did NOT let me off the hook.  (I do actually thank her for that.)
We sat down one day, while she was off work, and started working to calm my nerves.  Much to my surprise, it only took me about 30 minutes to let her do it.  It was awful, in my mind of course (not due to pain or anything), BUT I DID IT!!!!
And then it beeped. 

And my blood sugar, more than 2 hours after eating anything, was higher than hers. 
131
WHAT?
For those that know nothing about numbers, for someone who is supposed to have low blood sugar, a reading above 120 more than 2 hours after eating is a sign of pre-diabetes.  Pre-diabetes is a diagnosis they give you to say, "WAKE THE FUCK UP!  YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF!"

I would like to say that it came as a shock, but it was not.  I honestly thought for a while that I was having blood sugar issues.  Everything from extreme thirst, to missing periods, to feeling like crap ALL THE TIME.

We decided to start checking it on her days off (which reminds me, we skipped yesterday :gulp:) and in the mean time, I decided we were both going to start eating like we should.  The research junkie that I am kicked in and I have spent the last week and a half in carbohydrate and blood sugar land. 
We started on a limited carb diet with the help of a friend of mine who is a dietitian, and so far we are doing pretty well.  The first few days we wanted to kill each other and everyone around us, because we do so love our bread and rice and pasta. 

The better part about this though, is that Mandy's numbers are SO MUCH BETTER than they have been, AND I did a big thing, and checked my sugar twice in one day.  We did a fasting check last Sunday, and it was only 86.  2 hours after eating around 60g of carbs it was only 105. These are GOOD numbers. 
I have calmed down a ton about it, and no longer think I am going to die, but we are still going with the diet.  The impact it has made on her sugar levels and my energy is amazing. 

Now, about that phobia... 
In addition to checking my blood sugar (which, admittedly, has gotten easier, but is still a mental struggle) I am working with a friend of mine who pokes at people for a living.  We are doing what I guess would be considered "graded-exposure therapy".  Right now, I have in my possession a couple of syringes that I am supposed to mess with.  I think I can handle them just fine.  Put them in someone else hands and I know it will not go well. 
I think it will be hardest for me when we get to the point of touching a tourniquet and prep swab.  Just the thought of that freaks me right the fuck out... 

But I swear, I WILL get over this shit.  I have to.  I am tired of hurting.  I am tired of being sick. 

Whhhewwwww

I just got off the treadmill.  I am not feeling so good today, both physically and mentally and I think I have a little head cold so I wanted to get a good workout in before it got bad tomorrow.
I doubled up tonight, doing workout #7 twice. 
I really think I found my groove.  When I started it the second time, I had a moment of, "I could totally quit right now and not feel bad."
But I kept going and when I had about 15 minutes left I started feeling REALLY good.  With 10 minutes left my feet started buzzing lol.  It felt really good though, doing a while hours worth.  I was drenched in sweat, and felt like I actually did something good. 
I was a little bored at first but I started chatting/texting with my friend C and she took my mind off of it.

I know I was for sure holding some fluid because I was back down 4 of those 7 lbs today.  I think it will start to drop from here on out. 
We had pizza tonight, and I am feeling a little guilty about what I ate, but all I can do is pick up, move on and do better tomorrow.

Frustrated

I really hope that these extra pounds are fluid and sodium related.  We had ham yesterday and suddenly I am up several pounds.  I know I didn't eat THAT much.

I used the treadmill 6/7 days last week. 
I walked a total of 6 miles
Went up the equivalent of 228 feet
I burned 921 calories
all in 3:06:08

I did remarkably well on eating, with the exception of last night (and even then it was not bad as far as holiday meals is concerned). 

Somehow I am 213.6 lbs today.  When I started working out last week, I was 207. 
I am so frustrated.  So confused.  I don't know what to think or what is going on. 

On a side note, I currently have lockjaw from the swelling around my bad wisdom tooth.  I am hoping that I can get that figured out this week.  Antibiotics has kept the infection down, but I am out of those now, and I know it will come back up if I don't do something about it.

Stupid phobia.  I hate being scared.

Such a klutz I am!

Seriously, when will it ever end?  Between my sore wisdom tooth causing the entire right side of my face to swell, the usual aches and pains, and the work-out soreness (I will explain that in a minute), I really didn't need anything else.

Last night was grocery shopping night, and as has become routine, Mandy and I went to Souper Salad.  If you do not have a Souper Salad near you, you are missing out.  For about $10 a person, you can get all you can eat soup, salad, baked potatoes etc.  If you make wise decisions, which is NOT hard to do there, you can get away with an amazing filling dinner for very few calories.  In fact, most of my calories last night came from the pepperoni I put on my salad, the tiny portion of macaroni and cheese I got, and the little 2x2 square of blueberry bread I had for dessert.  I even passed on the chipotle ranch for some fat free italian. 
Dinner was great and after, we headed out to the new Sprouts market that just opened up in town.  Their weekly dollar deals happened to be on some of the produce that we eat a ton of, but can never buy enough of due to price.  For about $40 we got 6 cartons of cherub tomatoes, 4 fresh pineapples, 20 lbs of the little cutie mandarin oranges, cucumbers, avocados, grapes, bulk bin brown rice (.49 a lb!!!!) and some ginger snaps and lemon snaps for hubby and the kids.  It was great!  I really look forward to going there each week to snag some great produce. 
After Sprout's it was to the usual big box store for the rest.  We had to get diapers and the usual, as well as groceries.  We made the "dry trip" in, and then took it all out to the van.  While unloading, I of course managed to find the ONLY crack near my van, and ever so slightly rolled my left ankle.  Luckily, I felt it giving and let myself fall on the grocery cart.  That was not pleasant but I think it saved me from major damage.  I am just lucky it was my left, the stronger ankle.  Had it been my right, I think it would have been the end of the trip and the boot for me!
It was a little sore but we headed back in to get the rest of the groceries.  We rolled back home around 1 in the morning, got everything unloaded, the cold food put up, and then CRASHED.  We were so tired.

Today my ankle was a little swollen but not sore, so I got up, nursed my awfully swollen face until it settled down some, and then hopped on the treadmill.  I did a little jog for about a third of a mile (about all I can handle) and then started in to workout number 6 in my "Get Fit" series with Jillian on the treadmill.  I finished the most recent episode of the "Half-Size Me" podcast, and then listened to my iHeart station until I was done.  I am REALLY enjoying the workouts with this program.  They are not too hard, are each different, but a little challenging, and always leave me guessing as to what it is going to do next. 
6 days in a row I have been on the treadmill.  Tomorrow I will post a time, miles, incline feet, and calories burned for the last 7 days. 

This has been a really good week.  I know the scale is not showing it right now, but it will soon. 

Life is crazy

So I am back.  I know I have not posted anything in a while but things have been crazy around here as always.
I just wanted to pop in and say that I have managed to spend time on the treadmill each day this week.  Today will be day 5.
I have been doing an iFitLive workout that is incline training.  It has been pretty fun and I am actually starting to look forward to it each day, as it isn't the same thing each time. 
I stepped on the scale this morning and reminded myself that I cannot control the scale.  I know I am eating better than I have been.  I know I have been exercising more.  I had to remind myself that I can be expected to gain a little weight when I start exercising again and not to panic at the fact that I have done everything right this week and still gone up a few pounds.  I will not panic until next week, if it doesn't start going down again.

Foot and ankles feel good so far.  Lets hope it all keeps going up from here.
Backed off of weight watchers and instead have gone back to standard portion control.  Sometimes I just cannot control what I have available to eat, so right now I am just going to work on controlling how much I am eating, and not binging on everything I can.