Weight gain, eating and skipping

I had the greatest breakfast. It was a smoothie made of ice, low fat pina colada yogurt, pineapple, bananas and an avocado with some pineapple orange juice. It was pretty tasty. I think I will add some fresh carrot juice to the next one I make. That will add some veggies to it.

My weight is up. New all time high. I don't feel like I have been eating more than normal, so I don't know what to blame other than no exercise. Some days I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.

My foot hurts worse. I still think I have a stress fracture. No doubt it is from my weight. The other ankle kills, too.

I tried to teach Amelia to skip. I couldn't do it. I couldn't seem to hop... at all. :(

Pity party. I know I need to just change the way I do things, but I am not, and I should be.

Well, it could have been worse.

Well, yesterday, I took the kids to get a birthday lunch for Amelia, who turned 4.
We went to Sonic, and instead of getting my usual double cheeseburger and a large fry and extra large coke, I got a hot dog meal (which is two small hot dogs, (though one was chili and cheese, in my defense, the other was onions and saurkraut, so it wasn't as bad fat and calorie wise) and I did not make it a larger combo, which means I had a medium fry and a medium coke. I did not even finish the soda though because half way through driving around, Chandler started trying to steal Kays, so I gave him the rest of mine.

After we got home, I crashed because I had been up since 9 pm the night before. I slept straight through until about 330 this am, and so here I sit. I had to run to the store to grab garbage bags, and I must admit I bought and tried one of the new coconut 3 musketeer bars. I MIGHT have chased it with a regular one too, and then came home and ate one of those little packs of the two sausage biscuits. SIGH. Now I feel gross and REALLY wish I had my incline trainer already.

At this point I am begging hubby to just do it already.

Pioneer Trail Style

I didn't just fall off the wagon this time. The wheels broke while crossing the river, the horses drowned, and I barely managed to paddle to the other side.

I gorged myself through the holidays. That was fun. Not so much now, but while it lasted. I started going to the diner again while hubby is home. Bad decision. Mmmm french toast.

I started back on soda. I was doing so good without it, but I needed the caffeine one day, and just fell for it. Bad decision.

I started snacking on things more. Bad decision.

I quit going to the gym again, mostly because hubby is never here for me to go, but even when he is, I go maybe 2 times a month. Bad decision.

As you can see, I am not really making excuses. I am owning up to the fact that every one of these is a bad decision.

Last week, I was at my moms for a few days. Thursday, after I got there, we had a delightful meal of tamales and baked potatoes covered in taco meat and tons of cheese (bad decision). That night, I had one of my stomach upsets that left me wondering if I had consumed artificial sweetener, which is what usually causes it.
Friday, I went to lunch with a friend. We had Cheddars, and I had a great New Orleans pasta covered in a spicy alfredo sauce (bad decision). That night, it started again, and it was CLEARLY my gallbladder. I was in so much pain, I nearly went to the hospital. Just as that decision was being made, it finally quit, and I was able to sleep.

After the two days I spent in pain, I decided it might be a good idea to chop a few trees and rebuild that wagon. I cannot live in pain, and I am in no place to have surgery to remove my gallbladder. So step one is cutting out fatty extras. No fried meats, less butter, less processed fat filled foods. Maybe I will realize that losing it is more than just vanity. (good decision)

I am after hubby to buy me a NordicTrack incline trainer. Most people, it would go by the wayside, but I am a treadmill junkie, and I think that I need it, since he is never around long enough for me to go to the gym. Here is to hoping he will agree. (good decision)

Also, I really have to write in this more, even if it is just to say, "Hey, today SUCKED!!" (good decision)

New all time high

And I don't want to discuss it. When I am emotional, I eat.

All time high meets all time low

Ouch. I spent too much time at my Mom's house this week. All time high. Will be updating ticker to reflect this new all time high.
I never thought I would see this number when I am not pregnant. I am already depressed lately and this is not helping.
Of course, eating like this is a nasty spiral. I am feeling bad or upset and I eat. And then a few weeks later it shows on the scale and I get depressed so I eat more.
I have got to get a handle on my weight. I know I always say it and never do anything about it. But I have to, for my health.

SIGH. I guess I will write more later.

The Skinny Sister

I am Tracy.
I am 28.
I am a mother of 6.
I have brown hair.
I have brown eyes.
I have a wonderful husband.
I have a wonderful home.
I have an amazing family.
I have high blood pressure.
I am fat.
I am so fat, that if I do not do something about it, I will never see my 6 children grow up to be amazing adults, with brown hair, brown eyes, wonderful husbands/wives, wonderful homes, and amazing families.

I have 2 sisters. Both are heavier than me. Both try to lose weight. I am the smallest. By one pound. My sisters and I have always been competitive. I have decided to try to stay the skinny sister, and if I try to stay the skinny one, they may try to keep up with me, to beat me, so that I am NOT the skinny one. Either way, we are going to lose some weight. And we will all be better off for it.

Many times I try to blog. Most times I fail. I quit, just like I do a lot of things. Not today. Not this blog. Not this time.

To the gym, Batman. To the gym.