So I finally broke down (literally) and went to the doctor. My blood pressure has been steadily creeping back up, my heart rate stays up (between 90-120bpm) and I have just not been myself as of late.
I have been having all kinds of anxiety, depression, and have been living in a constant state of panic, that I can only describe as "humming bird".
After a long discussion with my doctor (who I LOVE and drive 2 hours to see still) about how I am feeling, what my stressors are, and what I would like to do about it, I walked out with a ton of percriptions for meds. Metaprolol (a beta-blocker) for my blood pressure and heart rate, Wellbutrin SR (for the anxiety and depression), Ativan as needed (for panic attacks).
I now feel like an old lady with my giant bag full of meds.
But here is hoping I am back on the track to being whole and being me again.
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